And There Was Much Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth August 29, 2008

Sigh…

Sigh again…

School has started.

Let me take a moment to compose myself.

OK, I’m feeling better now.  On to the obligatory “Back to School” post.

In preparation for the new school year, and to save some all important $$$, I finally got Todd to cancel our cable.  Well, he mostly cancelled it.  We are on the most basic plan that we can possibly be on.  Which means we only get local channels and TBS.  Go figure.  I eagerly anticipated television free nights of game playing and family fun.  The first night, I caught Emma watching “Sex and the City.”  Josh and Jakob quickly discovered that public television has really lame cartoons, too.  And I – I’m so ashamed to admit this – but without my TLC, I’ve started watching “Gossip Girl.”  Who knew that losing cable would actually lower our TV viewing standards?  But watching very pretty people doing very bad things is really kind of fun.

With their television viewing so unsuccessfully curtailed, the children were ready to move on to their first day of school.  (I apologize in advance for the bad, uncropped pictures.  Our computer died a few days ago and  haven’t gotten around to putting my photo editor back on yet.  Now you all know what a bad photographer I am.)

Sarah ended up going to our local high school after I did the math and realized the other school would require driving an extra 15 miles each day.  She’s surviving so far.  But I’m having a little bit of trouble controlling my panic attacks every morning when I drop her off and see all of the high school boys milling around.  She’ll be able to go on dates in one month.  I. Am. Not. Ready.

Daniel is at the Jr. High.  He lucked out and essentially got his dream schedule.  He even has PE the last period of the day.  Lucky, lucky boy.  And now, for a very important announcement:  His voice is changing.  It’s HILARIOUS.  But I know that I shouldn’t laugh.  That would make me a very bad mother.  You have no idea how difficult it is for me to be good sometimes.

Emma is in fourth grade.  She’s already forgetting to bring home notes and leaving homework assignments at school.  You’ll notice in the picture that she’s even forgotten her glasses.  It’s gonna be a great year.

Joshua is in kindergarten.  His official first day was yesterday.  I realized just how far I have fallen as a mommy when I saw the mom just ahead of me taking pictures of her little boy in front of the school, walking into the school, walking into the classroom, and giving the teacher a small bouquet of flowers.  FLOWERS!  While the jaded part of me wanted to scream, “Suck up!” a bigger part of me was jealous because I hadn’t thought of giving the teacher flowers.  It’s day one and I’m already losing the “Best Mommy” contest.  And all of my kids’ back to school pictures look like mugshots.  There’s no creativity whatsoever.  What has happened to me?!

Next year, the back to school pictures will be very creative, I promise.  And they just may include shots of my kids giving their teachers very tasteful floral arrangements.  With chocolate.

Oh, and Josh’s verdict on the big first day:  “It was boring.”

Reach For the Stars August 21, 2008

Yesterday I bumped into Gary Coleman outside of my credit union.  It took everything in my power to not say, “What’chou talkin’ about Willis?”  I know.  My self restraint is amazing.

My Addiction August 18, 2008

My name is Jennifer and I am a huge Jane Austen fan.

So much so that my last two daughters were named after characters in her books.  Emma and Elizabeth.  Except that “Elizabeth” came out with an extra appendage.  So we named him after Todd’s favorite character, Wolverine, instead.  Yup, that’s where the “Logan” came from.  We’re so mature.

Back to topic.  My all-time favorite book is Pride and Prejudice.  I love it love it love it.  I read it at least once a year.  I like to pretend that I’m as lively and witty as Elizabeth.  In reality, I’m probably much more like Mr. Darcy.  Hey, I just realized I could be their love child!  I love this book so much that I can almost understand where all of the Twilight crazies are coming from, except that P&P is actually well written.

I also fanantically watch every version of P&P that comes out.  Here they are, in order of best to worst:

1.  Pride and Prejudice Supreme (aka the A&E Version) – I watched this for the first time when I was expecting Emma and couldn’t stop throwing up long enough to sleep at night.  It was the best six hours of my entire pregnancy.  Then it was the best twelve hours.  Then the best eighteen…You get the picture.  This is probably the only movie ever made that I can watch over and over and over again.  I’ve even perfected the art of using slo-mo through Colin Firth’s pond scene so that I can fully *appreciate* that fine bit of acting.

2.  Pride and Prejudice, the BBC Version – This one is much truer to the book than A&E’s submission.  But not nearly as pretty.  If only Colin Firth were in it…..

3.  Bride and Prejudice – P&P goes Bollywood!  You MUST see this at least once.  You will never see Naveen Andrews in the same light again.

4.  Pride and Prejudice, 40’s style – I adore old movies, but it’s simply impossible to do justice to P&P in 117 minutes.  Still, Laurence Olivier was my second favorite Darcy.

5.  Pride and Prejudice, the Mormon edition – It’s amusing in it’s own special way.

6.  Pride and Prejudice, the Kiera Knightly version – Oh, the humanity!  They killed P&P!  I didn’t even know it was possible to so thoroughly destroy a storyline.  I was very disappointed in this movie.  Very Disappointed.

On Friday, the girls and I found a new version to add to our list:  Pride and Prejudice, the Musical!

It was a world premier at a local outdoor theater.  I have to admit, I was skeptical.  I wasn’t sure P&P would lend itself well to a musical format anywhere but Bollywood.  Happily, I was WRONG!  It was wonderful!  The songs were beautiful, the actors were amazing, and the playwright actually managed to do a fairly respectable job of condensing the story into just over two and a half hours.  We even bought an original soundtrack.  When this one goes to Broadway, I’ll be able to say that I was a part of its humble beginnings.

Sarah and I are busily working on memorizing the lyrics to every Mr. Darcy song.  I’m winning.   I’m just glad that we went toward the end of its run, or I may have become a serious theater groupie.

So there you have it.  My little addiction.  But at least it’s not Twilight.

Sometimes I Just Don’t Know What to Say August 16, 2008

One of the reasons I like summer so much is that we can catch grasshoppers to feed to Sabrina, our pet tarantula.  Yes, for four blissful months each year we no longer have to buy bugs to feed to a…bug.  It makes me happy.  Unfortunately, as the summer wears on, the grasshoppers get bigger, and Sabrina can’t eat them very quickly.  She likes to savor her food.  As a result of this, we currently have two grasshoppers living with her.

This morning, I came downstairs to find Emma and Joshua huddled around Sabrina’s cage, eagerly watching the goings-on.

Emma turned to me and siad excitedly, “Mom, the two grasshoppers are making love!”

“Yeah, Mom, it’s like this-”  Josh then proceeded to give me a very enthusiastic visual demonstration.

My wisdom filled response:  “I need to go pick some tomatoes.”