Tonight I actually had to utter the phrase, “Don’t put mustard on the dog.”
It would seem that Jakob is having a little bit of trouble adjusting to the kids being back in school. He’s lonely. And bored.
Jakob + lonely + bored = TROUBLE. Lots of it.
Two days ago, he threw my special campaign phone into our fountain. And swished it around for good measure. It’s dead now.
He got into Sarah’s room today and emptied out all four packages of her gum. And then unwrapped half of the pieces. And chewed half of those. He then stuck them to the dog. All of this was accomplished in a matter of seconds.
Even as I type this, I am sitting in a chair covered in hot chocolate mix. Apparently hot chocolate mix doesn’t vacuum up easily. This was a fact I was blissfully unaware of until Jakob came along.
Todd took him to Emma’s soccer game tonight (I was coaching Josh’s game at the same time). He came home completely defeated. Jakob had discovered that if he kicked random strangers’ soccer balls hard enough, they would go clear across the parking lot. Todd ended up spending more time chasing soccer balls than the actual soccer players did.
You may be wondering why we keep him around at this point. It’s simple: the kid’s a natural athlete. He’s our retirement plan. And he’s really, really cute.