The weather yesterday was freezing. Absolutely frigid. When I picked up Joshua from kindergarten, he mentioned that because of this they had had indoor recess and they all watched a movie that was, in his words, “kinda boring.” When we arrived home, I was listening to the inaugural coverage in the background, and Josh exclaimed, “That was the movie we were watching!”
*Who failed more miserably – the school, for not explaining to the children the significance of what they were watching (although I feel compelled to add that Emma also watched in fourth grade, and she definitely understood what was going on), or me, for failing to even mention to the poor child that a presidential inauguration would be taking place? Please say the school. Please say the school.
When I came home from running an errand, I discovered that Bella had rolled in something that looked and smelled suspiciously like warm poo, although for reasons of maintaining my sanity I won’t go so far as to call it that. This resulted in about thirty minutes of pure panic during which I locked the dog outside, followed by my using almost an entire can of Lysol wipes on her, and then forcing my poor, hapless children to give her a bath.
*Why are dogs so gross?
*Why does a clean, wet dog smell even worse than a dirty, dry dog?
Sarah has a boyfriend. Todd and I actually somewhat approve of him.
*Should we let her know that we like him, thus risking her immediately breaking up with him and bringing home an unkempt, underachieving drug user just to torment us?
– or –
*Should we act like we don’t approve, which could totally backfire if by some teeny tiny very remote possibility she actually does care what we think?
Daniel participated in some sort of nationwide mathematics competition which I wasn’t even aware of until I was notified that he had tied for fourth place in the state. Being the wonderfully supportive parents that we are, Todd and I immediately let him know that if he had just applied himself a little more, he could have taken first. (This is true, by the way. The three children that beat him had all spent the last year training for the test in special study sessions. Daniel didn’t utilize a single session given by his school. He just showed up and took the test. The fool.) Anyway, Daniel and I attended the awards program at BYU last night. It was nicely done, and after it was over, during the “refreshments and mingling” portion of the evening, the main presenter actually sought Daniel out to congratulate him. Daniel was amazed that the guy even knew his name. I was amazed that the college recruiting process has already begun. Did you know that according to Newsweek, being a mathematician is the BEST job in America right now? Oh, and let me just state once again that Daniel has inherited his intellect from me. All me. Todd had nothing to do with this.
*Daniel and I are both tall, but not freakishly so, and yet we towered over just about everyone else there. Are short people smarter than tall people?
*Asian children comprised a very high percentage of those winning awards, even though they comprise a very small percentage of our state’s population. Are these children typically so successful in academic pursuits because they are genetically smarter than the rest of us, or because they are more disciplined?
*Along those lines, we have noticed that successful people tend to either come from very small families, as most of the Asian children did, or very large families, as Daniel did. Does the number of children in a family influence how successful those children will be in life?
*And finally, but perhaps most importantly, will mathematics really help us to communicate with aliens when they arrive on our planet?
Since we had some free time on our drive home, Daniel and I answered this last set of questions.
*Yes, short people are smarter than tall people. This is because their tiny, compact bodies are easier to control, thus enabling their brains to utilize more energy for academics.
*It’s all about the discipline, baby.
*Family size does matter. Only children can have more attention and resources devoted to them, and let’s face it, large families just rock!
*Please. If an alien race is intelligent enough to arrive on our planet, they will totally have figured out how to communicate with us. We don’t even need to worry about it.