Dear Washing Machine,
Lately I’ve been feeling like something isn’t quite right between us. You’ve been shaking uncontrollably and making horrible groaning noises whenever I come near you. You’ve taken to randomly throwing the laundry detergent halfway across the loft, leaving a gooey blue mess for me to clean up. Sometimes you’re just plain moody.
Quite frankly, my sudsy friend, I’m worried about you.
What is causing your distress? Are you feeling neglected because I keep you locked in a closet? Are you jealous because of all the extra attention the furnace is receiving? Because I have to tell you, I’m not very happy with the furnace right now. Do you feel frumpy because I don’t wash you off as often as I should? Or resentful because of all the inappropriate items I put into you? I’m trying to clean out pockets better, really I am. Maybe you’re just feeling worn out and overworked with the many batches of laundry you wash each day. Believe me, I can empathize.
So how can I help you? What can I do to bring back the joyful humming noises you used to make while you were working? Because in a very real way, your happiness is my happiness.