Keeping Up With the Jameses

Adventures in Modern Day Motherhood

She’s Making Progress December 3, 2009

Filed under: 406 — mommyoffive @ 9:22 am

This morning I woke up and stumbled into the shower as usual.  I stood under the shower head for a minute, quietly rejoicing in the fact that I had a tiny bit of hot water left.  (I’m usually the third person to shower in the morning.)  I had just lathered up my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw movement.

(Cue Psycho music.)

It was a spider.

I panicked.  I couldn’t yell for Todd, because he was all the way downstairs and I would have had to yell really loud, but Elisabeth sleeps in our bedroom and even death by spider would be preferable to waking up a sleeping baby.  I couldn’t run screaming through the house, naked and dripping wet, because somehow that just seemed inappropriate while all of the kids were still home.  I was trapped.  And there was the spider, running back and forth between the shower curtain and liner.  Mocking me.  Occasionally it would flex its fangs for good measure.

After a brief episode of hyperventilation, I realized that I would have to take action.  I picked up a conditioner bottle and started frantically whacking the shower curtain with it.  Eventually, the spider stopped moving.  It was either dead, or stunned, or trying to give me a false sense of security  so it could attack when I wasn’t looking.  Or…what I was looking at may not have even been the spider, as it was….maybe a little on the small side.  Don’t judge me.  Its fangs were probably HUGE.

Now I faced a new dilemma.  If you’ll recall, I had just started my shower when the battle began.  My hair was still full of shampoo.  I hadn’t washed my face yet.  At some point, I was going to have to close my eyes while the possibly alive spider sat watching me.  And the hot water was starting to give out.  I consoled myself with the fact that it wasn’t a jumping spider and it couldn’t possibly reach me if I stood in the very center of the shower,  and started to wash my face.  And then  I remembered the time that Todd tried to smash a non-jumping spider and it jumped anyway.  I washed my face really quickly after that.

And here’s the really triumphant part.  I actually finished the shower.  It may have been quick, but all of the appropriate parts were scrubbed.

I know.  I’m growing up so fast.

But if any of you want to come over and check my shower curtain to see if the spider is actually dead, I’d really appreciate it.

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One Response to “She’s Making Progress”

  1. janae Says:

    Dude, once I was in the shower and suddenly, out of no where, a spider lowered it’s self from the ceiling on a dangly string and stopped exactly six inches in front of my eyes. I DIED. I’m so feeling for ya right now!


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