Dear Amazing Race,
You made me cry tonight. And I never cry. It must be a sign that I should be on your next season. I’m coming, Phil!
Dear Dr. Crush,
It’s good enough. Would ya just finish up with me already? Please?
Dear Everyone Who Watches Dancing With the Stars,
I know that Brandy is annoying, but please please pretty please don’t vote her off. Watching Maks is my only source of joy right now. MAKS!
PS – You can vote off Jennifer Grey any time now. She really annoys me.
Thank you for teaching me how to watch movies on high speed with closed captioning. Now I can finally catch up with the rest of the modern world. Also, thank you for making me laugh when you said, “Action sequences are silly when you are watching them on high speed.” Because let’s face it – action sequences are always silly.
I need some recommendations of good movies to watch. Just keep in mind that I don’t like anything scary, or sappy, or stupid. And don’t even think about recommending anything Twilight related. I would have to de-friend you for real.
Thank you for volunteering to try to ride the bus next week. You may have just saved my sanity. Just remember, “That which does not kill you makes you stronger. ” It also makes your mommy happy. Remember to look both ways when crossing the street. And would it be terribly embarrassing if I were to put you in full body armor before sending you on your way?
Please take good care of my baby.