Keeping Up With the Jameses

Adventures in Modern Day Motherhood

Why, hello there. It’s been awhile. Did you miss me? March 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — mommyoffive @ 8:00 am

I have no excuses.  I haven’t been sick, pregnant, or even particularly busy.  I’ve just been lazy.  Plus, Todd lost my camera card so I can’t take any pictures.  Blogging is always more fun with pictures.

But on Saturday I attended a WONDERFUL luncheon in which I was reminded of the importance of journaling, and as sad as it may seem, this IS my journal.  Yep.  This is as journally as I get.

So here’s a “quick ketchup.”  (I totally stole that from Janae.)

*After the Sundance fiasco, Emma, Josh and I went to Jolley’s Ranch for a redemption trip.  Words cannot express how much I love Jolley’s Ranch.  It’s close, it’s GORGEOUS, and the trails are all geared toward beginners.  Jolley’s Ranch is very good for my self-esteem.

So good, in fact, that the next week we headed up to Soldier Hollow.  But first, we canned 30 pounds of green beans and froze 8 pineapples, 2 cartons of mushrooms, and some basil, oregano and rosemary.  Perhaps it is not wise to can and ski on the same day.  At one point I was having visions of helpless green beans throwing themselves across my path.  Or wait…maybe that was the ski school class that I almost ran over.  (Note to self:  work on braking.)

*Rise and shout – the COUGARS are out!!!!  Sarah has been accepted to BYU!!!!!   I am excited about this for many different reasons, not the least of which was our celebration dinner at Olive Garden (Sarah’s choice – not mine) (just wanted to make that clear) in which Emma ate more than her body weight in breadsticks.  I have GOT to enter that girl in some kind of eating contest.

*A friend brought over some Amish Friendship Bread starter a few weeks ago.  If you have never had Amish Friendship Bread, you must understand that it is delicious.  It is also high maintenance.  First, you have to babysit it for ten days, squishing it and feeding it at regular intervals.  Then, you get to bake some bread.  Then, you get to eat the bread.  Then, you feel bad for eating your entire week’s worth of sugar in one sitting.  So you eat some more.  You justify it by saying that all of the carbs will help you run faster.  Then you “forget” to take your timer with you for your next run.  But it sure feels faster.  In the meantime, you’ve had to find new victims friends to pawn off give some starter to.  This is not as easy as it sounds.  The chosen friends have to not only be good-natured, but also very responsible, because you’ve invested two weeks in your starter now and you’ll feel bad if any of it’s children end up dying of neglect.  After a lengthy selection process, you finally decide to give some starter to two trustworthy friends and keep two bags of starter for yourself.  Two bags of starter which have to be squished, and fed, and baked, and given away….

Halfway through the second cycle, I decided to stop the madness.  I threw all of my starter into a bowl and whipped up a batch of Sunday morning sourdough pancakes.  The munchkins love sourdough pancakes.  They were VERY appreciative, right up until they figured out that all of the starter was gone.  Then the wailing and gnashing of teeth began.   “How could you?!?!?” “Now we’ll never get to eat breakfast again!!” “Those were my favorite pancakes in the whole wide world and now they are GONE!”

Several days later, the munchkins were still bemoaning the loss of their beloved starter.  Just as they were about to tie me up and sacrifice me to the gods of sourdough as punishment for my cruel mistreatment of our little baggie of goo, Mindy brought me some more starter.  THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what true friends do for each other.  They keep extra bags of starter around just in case their blonde neighbors foolishly use up all of their own.

*Our house spent the last week under construction.  We got some stairs put into our crawlspace, which is actually more of a “walkspace,” since it is over six feet deep.  Jakob was fascinated by this process.  Whenever he saw Mr. Construction Man, he would barrage him with questions:  “How’s it going down there?”  “What is that tool?”  “How much longer is this going to take?”  “That loud noise scared me, did it scare you?”  “Did you know that my mommy used up all of our Amish Friendship Bread starter?”  Needless to say, we spent most of our time outside so that Mr. Construction Man could work in peace.

*While we were outside avoiding Mr. Construction Man, we planted 150 onions and 5 million peas (so I really don’t know how many peas we planted, but it seemed like a lot), pulled 50 bazillion weeds (again, that number may be a slight exaggeration), pruned the fruit trees, pruned the decorative trees, and taught Elisabeth how to swing like a big girl.  She has skills, that one.

We also planted 8 pineapple tops.  They are in pots in next to windows all over my house.  Not sure what I was thinking…

*You know the Redneck joke about stacking your new TV on top of your old TV?  Um yeah, we were that family.  I liked to think that it was an existential statement on the futility of technology.  Daniel seemed to think that it was a statement on our extreme tackiness.  Our televison set up caused him an infinite amount of embarrassment.  But he is embarrassed no more, because we have a new entertainment center, baby!  It’s black, it’s sleek, it’s HUGE.  I would like to take this moment to thank IKEA and our tax return.

*The political scene is moving forward, dragging me along with it.  Stay tuned for some exciting news….

*I have a brand new Android.  Don’t judge me.  My old phone was falling apart.  Literally.  The volume button was gone, the back would no longer stay on, the battery was being held in with scotch tape, and the hinge was failing fast.  Plus, my new phone only cost twenty dollars.  It’s a cheap Android.    When Daniel found about my new purchase, he shook his head sadly and said, “No Mom, no.  You’ll never be able to utilize it properly.”  Little did he know that I would soon be sucked into the apps vortex from which I would emerge with a trusty little phone that can do…everything.  This morning it made me breakfast in bed while informing me of the day’s most important news stories and massaging my feet.  Then it taught me how to speak Chinese.  Utilize THAT, Daniel!

*Pinewood Derby season is upon as again.  The last time Todd made a pinewood derby car, it wouldn’t even roll all the way down the track.  Daniel is still bitter about it.  That’s probably the reason that he keeps insulting my phone using and home decorating skills.  Todd is determined not to let Joshua suffer the same disappointment.  Last night he began the wood-carving process, and nearly cut his finger off.  I am not kidding.  His finger looks disgusting.  The block of wood looks…like a misshapen block of wood.  I’ll let you know how it all turns out.

And last but not least, I was finally guilted into attending choir practice.  I cannot sing.  I know that I cannot sing.  My neighbors know that I cannot sing.  Birds fly away from me when I burst into song.  But still, our choir director keeps inviting me to practice.  She’s desperate.  Yesterday morning she bribed me with muffins.  I cannot turn down a good muffin.  So at 10:30 am, I walked into practice.  It had been a busy morning.  I had already cleaned the bathroom (Don’t judge me.  Sunday is the only day that I have time to clean the bathroom before I take a shower.), made a delightful breakfast for the munchkins (sourdough pancakes – betcha never saw that one coming), and started dinner in the crockpot.  I had NOT done my hair yet.  When I walked in the door, two different people immediately complimented me on my cute hair do.  It turns out that I really do do more harm than good when I attempt to tame the madness of my mane.  I’m really starting to rethink the 3 minutes that I spend with my flat iron each day.

I’m also starting to rethink my decision to catch up on the last two weeks of blogging.  And I have no doubt that you are seriously rethinking your decision to read this post through to the end.

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3 Responses to “Why, hello there. It’s been awhile. Did you miss me?”

  1. janae Says:

    Hey, look, people copy me! Who knew I was that cool?! 🙂 So I love Amish friendship bread, but I hate giving away starters, right? Well, one time I sat down and figured out exactly how to make it without making more than a thousand loaves. I just wanted two. I worked and worked, calculated and calculated. Ingredient amounts, sit around going rancid time, etc. It was genius! And then I lost the card I wrote it all down on. AGH.

  2. Mindy Says:

    Loved the “ketchup”.

    And the secret to giving away the Amish bread is to just have your kids take it up to the door with the instructions and smile. Then they run away and your friend is left with the guilt, not you. 🙂 Good luck. PS If you have any, I will take some back.


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