Keeping Up With the Jameses

Adventures in Modern Day Motherhood

In Which Jennifer’s Non-Photogenic Curse is Shared With an Entire Soccer Team October 13, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — mommyoffive @ 11:44 am

Kindergarten soccer.  It’s adorable.

I love watching a brand new team of little boys racing up and down the field, grinning ear to ear in pursuit of the elusive soccer ball.  They run the wrong way, they fall over when they try to kick the ball super hard, and they have FUN!

I don’t like it so much when I am the coach and my son REFUSES to play about 75% of the time, but that’s a story for another time…

This year’s team was AWESOME!  I somehow managed to get an entire team full of enthusiastic little players (except for Jakob) and very supportive parents.  Our games were a blast.  Everyone was excited to see the team pictures so that they could have of memento of their sons’ very first soccer season.

Unfortunately, I was in the picture.

Cameras hate me.

No really, they do.

Let me show you.

Here is a picture taken from another mom’s blog without her permission.  (Hi, Crystal!  I borrowed your picture.)   She was standing a few feet away from the actual photographer, and just quietly snapped the picture while no one was paying attention.

It’s not a great picture, but you can see that all of the boys are looking in the same direction and smiling and I appear to be human.  Tired and washed out, but human.  My hypothesis is that the camera was unaware that a picture was actually being taken, since it was on the sidelines and all, and therefore it didn’t bother to try to make me look like a mutated potato.

“Now, Jennifer,” you are thinking to yourself, “That isn’t so bad.”

You’re only thinking that because you haven’t seen the official team picture yet.  The one that the photographer had to try three times to get.  The one that was supposed to be proudly displayed in the homes of nine little boys.

Are you ready?  Are you sure your eyes can handle it?  Are you sure???

Here it is:

I told you so.  Notice how the boys are suddenly NOT lined up nicely, NOT all looking in the same direction, and NOT all smiling.  And me?  Definitely NOT looking human.

I must have been REALLY MEAN to a camera in a past life.

Believe it or not, that’s not even my worst soccer team photo.  Nope.  That honor goes to Daniel’s kindergarten team.  My hair was longer, I had just gotten a perm, and a breeze kicked in just as the picture was taken.  It looked like the boys were being coached by Cousin Itt.

I know.  Sometimes I don’t know why I get up in the morning.


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