Did I ever tell you about the time that our neighbor caught some young hoodlums breaking into cars on our street at 4:00 in the morning and chased them down with a gun while calling the police and yelling and sounding very bad-a$$?
The hoodlums got away.
But our neighbor earned a whole new level of respect from me that day.
A few weeks later, garages became the next target of the thieves. (The same ones? Perhaps. No one really knows.)
It’s really gotten bad.
They’ve moved on to pumpkins.
That’s right – if you live in our neighborhood, it is no longer safe to keep to keep your Halloween pumpkins on your porch.
We learned this the hard way.
You see, WAAAAY back in the beginning of October, we went on a quest to find the perfect pumpkins.
It was a long, bumpy ride to the pumpkin patch, especially since Bizzie drove the tractor.
Bizzie chose a perfectly round pumpkin, Jakester chose a tiny pumpkin that was still partially green and attached to the vine, Josh chose a medium sized pumpkin, and Emma selected the BIGGEST pumpkin that she could find. She had grand plans of carving an entire haunted house into it.
When we returned home, the pumpkins were artfully displayed on the front porch. Then Jakob decided to give them all a wagon ride. I put them back on the porch. Bizzie rolled them down the driveway. I replaced them. The munchkins removed them and used them for an obstacle course. I gave up.
The pumpkins ended up being scattered haphazardly all over the porch. Soon, they were joined by four new pumpkins adopted from the Harvest Moon Hurrah. (Because when it isn’t riddled with crime, Spanish Fork is the coolest town EVAR.) It was almost impossible to get to our front door through all of the cute pumpkin guardians.
Yesterday morning, I opened the door to find…a bare porch. Just one small, sad pumpkin remained.
The munchkins are devastated. And I am seriously considering installing a brand new, state of the art hoodlum detection system, complete with tranquilizer darts and exploding ink bombs. Pink ink bombs. And feathers. And spiders.
I may also have to put Bella on steroids.