Daniel got his wisdom teeth out this week. It was fun. The following is a very scientific timelime of the events to the best of my recollection:
12:00 PM Being the awesome mom that I am, I tell Daniel that I will take him anywhere he wants to go for his “last meal” at lunchtime. He chooses Barry’s. Barry’s. I am not sure he is actually my son.
1:30 PM Daniel’s appointment is at 3:30, which leaves him plenty of time to google “wisdom tooth removal” and worry. While he is googling, the winds shift, filling the air with smoke and ashes.
2: 30 PM Daniel leaves the following Facebook update: “The sky is darkening and reddening while ash falls from the sky just an hour before I have to get my wisdom teeth removed. I mean, I knew the dentist was evil, but… come on! O.o” He’s a clever boy, isn’t he?
3:30 PM We arrive at Dr. P’s office. Dr. P is awesome. Today he has two ginormous sets of antlers in his workroom that he was showing off. They are gorgeous. And heavy. Deer must have very strong necks. Dr. P doesn’t actually do wisdom tooth removal, so we meet Dr. D, who wanders around the state setting up shop in various dentists’ offices for the sole purpose of extracting wisdom teeth. What a sick, sick man. He is also hilarious. He comes out to meet us and immediately starts cracking jokes. Lots and lots of jokes. Imagine Robin Williams as a dentist.
3:50 PM Dr. D finally decides to get serious and takes Daniel back to the operating room. Meanwhile, Dr. P, his receptionist, and I work together to find out the latest fire information. Dr. P also hacks into his receptionist’s facebook account and posts a silly status. Yup, he is all business, all the time.
4:20 PM Dr. D is finished! While he is cleaning up his tools, he yells, “No Daniel, stop kicking your legs!” and “Daniel, don’t bite me!” loud enough for everyone else in the office to hear it. Daniel is MORTIFIED.
4:30 PM We are heading out of the office. Dr. D tells me that he was very impressed with Daniel’s ability to use sarcasm while having his teeth removed. That’s my boy!
5:30 PM Dinner time. Daniel eats a ginormous bowl of mashed potatoes, some ice cream, a slushie, and some pudding. He then sets a goal to eat a cup of pudding every thirty minutes, just because he thinks it will be fun. Ewwwww.
(Editor’s note: I’m not sure he managed to eat a cup every thirty minutes, but the pudding did disappear quite rapidly. He had help though – for two days the littles ran around the house with mysterious chocolate beards on their chins. Now they want to know when Emma will be getting her wisdom teeth out.)
7:00 PM Daniel has gone out with a friend with a slushie, eaten another cup of pudding, and is happily programming on his computer.
Does he look like he lost any wisdom?